Controlling Anger

Yoda: "Anger, Fear, Aggression; the darkside of the Force are they." -Episode V

"When angry, count to 10 before you speak. If very angry, a hundred," -Thomas Jefferson.

Jedi don't let anger control them because anger can lead to the darkside. Anger can cause harm and suffering to others and can be destructive. Anger, fury and rage can cause people to lose control of their reason, their good judgment, and their balance. Anger can even cause incredible damage to our bodies, according to medical studies.

People can't weigh out what the results of their actions will be when they are controlled by anger. Anger temporarily warps their sense of reality. Later, after they have calmed down, they can see the damage that their anger has caused, but then it’s too late; then only comes the regret and the shame caused by their anger.

We need to acknowledge our feelings of anger, if we have any, and not push it down. I always ask myself "Why am I angry"? Then I 'let go' of the anger immediately; I don't give into it. We can replace our feelings of anger with positive, lightside emotions like compassion, patience, and forgiveness. This is called substitution and it just means changing your focus from a negative emotion to a positive emotion.

Dr. Johnson recommends: "Don’t react. Respond." "Make a carefully considered choice about the best course of action to take and guide your response by the three anger-regulating principles of empathy, compassion, and assertion."

"Empathy is the ability to see a situation from another person's point of view, Johnston tells WebMD. "Adopting an empathic stance opens the door to compassion by providing for a deeper emotional understanding of the source of conflict. Being compassionate in an anger-arousing situation allows for the deliberate choice of a tolerant but assertive response to resolving the conflict."

"Choosing to respond assertively is different from the impulsive reaction of acting-out anger, Johnston says. An assertive response is characterized by standing up for our legitimate rights, but it does so in a manner that does not violate the rights of others. Assertive behavior is a direct, honest, and appropriate expression of feelings and beliefs that helps to establish understanding, consensus, and cooperation." -Dr. Johnson

If anger gets the upper hand and starts to control you, try to take a 'time-out' from your anger so you can think clearly and use your reason.

The old saying, count to 10, was meant to try to give you a change to logically think things through before you explode. There are other methods to control anger. Here are some more good tips at this link:

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